What is up with Jon and Kate?

Watching this first episode of Season 5 made me oh so thankful for everything good in my life!

I don't follow tabloids and try not to gossip so I have to say the entire episode was very confusing to say the least. They keep saying everything is hard and emotional and we will have to work through everything. "It is hard not to listen to what the tabloids say and we are the only ones that know what happened."

Unfortunately for me and my kids, we just like watching the show. We only have a vague idea what they were talking about for 75 minutes because we have no idea what actually happened. Nowhere in the show do they address what is happening or what happened in the past to cause such a problem. I think TLC should have offered some sort of explanation to those of us who don't listen to the gossip. I spent every commercial break googling Jon and Kate to try to figure out what they were talking about just so we could watch the show. I really shouldn't have to patronize tmz.com to understand what is happening in a reality show. Nor do I want to. The Gosselins should be able to share only what they feel is appropriate material for the show. The way they, and TLC, are sensationalizing this is only helping the papparazi.

The focus really needs to be back to the kids. The show's focus and the parents focus. It is really a sad situation for everyone involved.

I'm not living up to my name

and that's okay.............for now.

Although my name "Chipper" was always meant to be sarcastic, sometimes I actually try and succeed at being upbeat and happy. Lately life has been beating me down. It has been really hard to just appear sane, let alone happy. It feels like life is passing me by and my feet are stuck in cement. I can see the things I need to change but I can't get my feet out to make it happen.

I have struggled with post-traumatic stress in the past. This is similar but I can't pinpoint what started this or what will help get me out. I just know I am losing time. I hear the clock tick, I blink, the day is over and no progress was made. I guess if I knew what progress I was looking for that would be a little easier. My kids deserve better than this half-ass version of a mother. I am here, but my thoughts are always somewhere else.

I feel so alone, even knowing that many other people are dealing with these same situations, there is no one to turn to. I have always been a private person. Many people have thought I was a snob or rude when in fact I am often terrified to speak. When I do speak, my words come out all wrong. There are a few people that I am comfortable enough with, but how do you say what you feel in 5 minute conversations that are all too common these days.

I long for someone to tell me I don't have to be perfect. Someone to say, I understand, I am here just because you need me. Talk as long as you need to. Someone who means it. Someone.

Lost in a Fog

Ever walk through a crowd and try to figure out what the person next to you is thinking?

Wonder why the guy with the scowl on his face couldn't even turn around and apologize when he almost knocked you over?

How about the old lady who left her garbage in a shopping cart for someone else to clean up?

Or the teenager who skidded through the parking lot almost hitting your car?

It's a strange world we live in now........We are so connected to anyone, anytime, anyplace. Yet, we are so far removed from the reality going on around us every day. We can look on Facebook and find out what our cousin is cooking for dinner. We think wow, we are really linked in to everyone's lives, that is great!

But are we? So Joe Schmoe is having meatloaf for dinner. Who is he having it with? Did he enjoy cooking it? Did he buy a frozen meatloaf because his wife just left him and he doesn't know how to cook? AHA - that might be why he was too preoccupied to notice that he bumped into you while paying for the frozen meatloaf he doesn't want to eat but has to so his kids don't notice their mom is gone.

What about Suzy Homemaker with the new baby? The baby is beautiful, the parents are beautiful, and life is just going great! But is it? Maybe Suzy is so afraid and tense and scared she feels like throwing that baby out with the bath water. She is so afraid that she doesn't even see the garbage in the shopping cart and hurries back to the car. She keeps putting one foot in front of the other hoping for a better day.

Cool as Cucumber Kevin just got a new set of wheels for his 18th birthday and wants to show them off to his girlfriend. He stops off to buy her some flowers. But as he pulls in the lot he gets a call from his mom that his dad is in the hospital and has two hours to live. He speeds away and doesn't realize he almost hit your car. He can only see his fathers face.

Those are the real things going on in your friends and neighbors lives. From the front porch looking in - life is great. Post on Facebook some funny antecdotes and connect with your long lost friends. What a farce! Do the people that are your "friends" really care if you like nose rings? NO! It's like standing there listening to random thoughts and "feeling" connected when what they should be doing is talking to real live people and connecting!

Everyone around us has a story to tell! Every man, woman, and child is fighting a battle of their own. Each person that appears perfect on the outside has fallen apart and is fighting to hold it together now.

Do you know?

Do you care?

I LOVE CVS

I am a lurker! I often am holding a child while reading discussion forums about ways to save money. My lurking is paying off big time as I am finally getting the hang of these CVS and Walgreens programs.

So a couple weeks ago I spent about 12 dollars at CVS and bought everything that offered ECBS. I ended up with about 14 dollars in ECBS and hopefully I will never have to spend money out of my own pocket for toiletries, household supplies, and maybe even diapers (but I won't hold my breath there.)

So on Sunday I bought:

2 PAAS Easter Dye Kits for 3.98
2 Lumene Face Creams for 5.98
1 Suave Body Wash for 1.99
1 Scrubbing Bubbles Action Cleaner for 2.99
1 3-pack of CVS Paper towels for 3.69 (Ouch I should have price checked this ahead of time!)
Total: 18.63
I used these coupons :
2 Lumene CVS Coupons for 8.00
1 Scrubbing Bubbles for 2.75
1 Suave Coupon for 3.00
1 CVS CRT for Paper Towels 1
Total After Coupons: 3.88

I used one $4 ECB and got one back for 3.98! I had to pay tax of 27 cents OOP

It is very helpful that the CVS I go to allows overage on coupons. I would not have done that well otherwise.
I plan on making a list of the things that I need on a regular basis and what price range they fall in so I can stop wasting so much time wandering around trying to fill my coupon overage.

Did you ever wonder who created the bottle and why?

I did! If you think about it, most babies don't ever need to drink from a bottle. They can go right from nursing to a regular cup with no major issues. One magical day the baby is now toddling around and just decides they don't need to nurse anymore. They want big people food and juice and all the other fun stuff the older kids get. It is a nice easy transition with no worries.....right?

HECK NO!!!


Being this is my last baby (for sure) I would like to keep nursing as long as reasonably possible. So far I have made it 9 months. The first month was torture! Sore nipples, sleepless nights..... you get the idea. But it got easier from there. Then around 5 months the doctor worrying the baby wasn't getting enough milk because he wasn't gaining weight. So the bi-weekly weight checks were just shoved into the calendar and life went on. He created his own growth chart using negative numbers. He is going to be a math genius I can just tell. Now the doctors have stopped worrying because even with his negative numbers in weight gain he has been in the 75% for length since he was born. So the rationale is if he is getting longer at the same rate he is getting enough. So they said I should make him start sleeping through the night.

Well HOO RAH! Just what I wanted to hear! Now that I don't have to worry about his weight gain I can sleep and Daddy can get up with the little dear heart at night so I can get some well-deserved rest.

But you were paying attention. You know none of this has to do with bottles. Any mothers with babies this age know darn well why bottles were invented.

My little genius understands every word that doctor says. No more nighttime feedings? No more extra cuddles in the middle of the night? No more sleeping in Mom's bed? Well, I'll show her......CHOMP!! CHOMP!!! CHOMP!! Cheerios? No thanks, I have something better to chew on..... Gives new meaning to the phrase - let me chew on it - doesn't it?

You can call me...

Chipper!
My mom and husband latched on to the name Chipper because I pronounced the p's individually by mistake one time while I was chewing gum. Being the sarcastic jerks they are the name stuck because it represents my sunny demeanor.

Did your kids turn out just like you?

I was reading a Janet Evanovich book recently and I love the way Mrs. Plum reminds me of my mother. My mother must have sent a million wishing pennies into the fountain to make sure my kids turned out just like me! Although, if I do say so myself, I hardly think that's a bad thing. In fact, there are a lot worse things they could be.

My kids are great. Actually, my mom tells me every day how wonderful they are and how much fun they are to be around. They have their moments of craziness, and lord knows with 6 kids things often get crazy! But what am I missing? I was sooooo horrible that she couldn't wait for me to have rotten kids to drive me crazy, right? Everything is cute and funny and sweet to her now.

Which brings me to another infamous saying in my house.......Don't let me turn into my mother. Am I the only daughter who heard this one? She can say it until she's blue in the face. She is JUST like her mother. Being that was my grandmother I don't think it's so bad. I wouldn't mind being like my mom now. I hope when my kids are grown everything falls in to perspective. As long as my mom doesn't start burning down funeral parlor's it will be all good!